Tag Archives: food

The Most Important Meal of the Day

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Wow.  It’s been a while.  And I swear, I keep trying to get back into this whole blogging thing, but I keep writing these gargantuan posts about HUGE ideas, that surprisingly, go nowhere.  I’ll keep them in the works, but man, it’s been getting a little heavy up in here.

So I thought, maybe it’s time for a little mindless fun.

Here, in our neck of the woods, winter is going down with a fight.  Don’t get me wrong, I love winter.  I really do.  But come mid-March, the idea of trading in snowsuits for sunscreen actually makes me salivate.  Picture yourself.  You’re on your knees, stuffed into the small space by your door leading outside.  The gateway between the infernal stuffiness of the indoors, and a massive, unconfined space. You have three excited, small children falling all over each other with one goal in mind: Doorsmosis.  One is holding your hair for support.  The other opens the door and lets the indoor cat, out.  Another has just decided this would be a great time to pee.  An unidentified foot is asking you to put it’s appropriate outdoor covering on it, while a snotty hand mistakes your face for a great resting spot.  Now, in that state, what looks more appealing to you, in terms of preparation to vacate the premises?

This?

They are literally wearing 1000 pieces of clothing, each.

They are literally wearing 1000 pieces of clothing, each.

…or this?IMG_3082

And to think I once complained about how annoying it is to apply sunscreen.

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Fruity Crumble Bars of Amazingness

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Okay.  So once upon a time there was this blog called F-Words and let me just tell you…it was a fantastic food blog.  Yeah…remember when I used to post recipes on here?  I’m not sure what happened bake stand but it could have something to do with the bake stand fact that I haven’t been feeling too inspired since the bake stand lately.  But either way, I felt inspired yesterday because I quit the bake stand and made these delicious little bars AND I remembered to take a picture because I’m not preoccupied by the bake stand.

I feel like I need to get something off my chest I hated doing the bake stand, but I just can’t think of what it was.

…and I ain’t talkin’ ’bout no peanut butter cookies.

Oh, now I remember.  I HATED DOING THE BAKE STAND!  I’d do my day with the kids (I have three kids under four – it’s not exactly a walk in the park – unless we go for a walk in the park that day, then I suppose it is exactly a walk in the park, but you get what I’m driving at here), then I spent EVERY NIGHT alternating between baking and BEGGING for sleep.  Then at the end of all that, I got to stand there, at the market, and watch all of my hard work melt in the sweltering heat, sweating like a fiend.  Then the icing on the cake (pun intended) was that I ended up making a cool $30 profit every week.  I know, it sounds spectacular, but it wasn’t.

I actually ended up going to a therapy session because of the stress of it all (combined with the financial horror that is my bank account), where my therapist said, “But you can bake in the day time can’t you?”  And I was frankly, just too stunned to answer.  I finally said, “A greater woman than myself could probably do it, but I’d end up putting a kid in the oven or making some other horrifying mistake.”  I started going into this huge defensive rant, then realized, this woman has no idea what the f*@k goes on in my house so maybe I should I rethink this whole asking her to therapize my BRAIN thing?!?!?!

Anyway…I have another appointment in 2 weeks.

Back to the bars.  Hey, that sounds like a movie or something.

Back to the Bars – The Lora Banks Story.  A chilling tale of a mother gone mad, searching for meaning in life in the bottom of every whiskey sour she can find in this 3 bar town.

Okay for real, back to the bars.

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California Salad (Dude)

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What’s up brah?  I was chillin’ at Loblaws the other day and was totally stoked to peep this bitchin’ salad, so I hopped on my longboard and was totally hot-doggin’ it to the homestead to make my own.  Yeah…I know it’s totally bogus to snake someone else’s recipe, but since this recipe belongs to the man, I thought to myself, “Relax dude…it’s yours for the taking.”

Anyway, in English (and Less-Annoying), I saw this salad called a California Salad, so I went home and made my own.

It’s delicious. It’s beautiful.  And like most things in my life, it looks like it’s a lot more work than it is.  So if you’re having guests over, it’s a great salad to make, because it looks like you slaved away, when really it takes about 10 minutes to throw together.  (Sorry to shatter the illusion Heidi and Gord).

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Lora Banks: EntrepreNERD

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Oh, hi there.  I’m sorry…you were looking for, Lora?  She’s gone now…and has been replaced by a savvy business woman!

I kid.  I haven’t completely sold out…but my bake stand did!  Yesterday was my first day at the farmer’s market and it went really, really well.

There’s me.  I took a shower and everything.  I’m a serious business lady now.

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Coconut Mango Cake

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Okay.  I don’t want this post to be clouded by your self-loathing for never having thought of this yourself.  After a few days of major soul searching, I have come to terms with it myself, and suggest you do the same.  So let’s begin with a little self-affirmation.  Repeat after me:

“I can’t think of everything.  I am human, and humans are erred by nature.  Everyone has different talents, thinking of the most genius thing EVER is not one of mine, and that, is okay.  I forgive myself.”

Do not move on to the following sentence without having a full sense of peace.  Take a deep breath, and read the following GENIUS two words.

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Roasted Plum and Goat Cheese Salad

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So the other day I was updating my “Recipes” page on my blog, when I realized it looks like 90% of my diet consists of cookies, brownies, cakes and cupcakes.  This, I can assure you, is not the case, but this funny thing always happens at meal time.

How do I describe it best?  Let’s see…oh yes.  I feel kind of like King Kong, toward the end of the movie…when he’s hanging on to the Empire States Building and the planes are attacking him.

The guy just wants to save his dignity and his damn soul mate…give him some space.  Instead, all of these planes start diving at him, trying to shoot him or knock him off or whatever, and what was previously a safe, stable situation, is suddenly death defying.  Yeah, that’s how I feel about making dinner.

I’m balancing pots and pans, stirring with both hands and pouring juice with my right foot.  And while I’m doing this, toys are flying everywhere, and the kids are running around screaming trying to get me to lay a verdict on who’s doll is who’s.  Then, by the time I get everything on the table and sit down to eat, I can’t switch out of that rushy-rushy-hurry-uppy mode, and I scarf all of my food down before I can even look at it, let alone take a picture of it.

That’s why I rarely post the food I make for dinner.  You see, there’s never a rush on baking.  I guess that’s why I love it so much.  I do it at night when the kids are in bed, or in the day while they’re watching a movie or whatever.  No one’s hungry, no one’s crazy, no one’s bugging me and there’s plenty of time for a food-o-shoot.  Not dinner though.

Well…today that all changes.

http://www.headlineshirts.net/le-king-kong-t-shirt.html?hsnh_vendor=shareasale

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An Open Letter to the Flu

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Dear Influenza,

Listen, man.  We’ve had this talk before.  I know that you have a job to do.  But for the love of God, could you PLEASE just tag everyone all at once?  When five people (three of whom are proverbial crop dusters of drool and snot) live under the same roof, it is both cruel and unusual for you to invade one person at a time.  In the future, if you wish to spend time with us, it would be appreciated if you could limit your infestations to two:  one for myself, so I know what we’re dealing with, and a second for everyone else at the same, damn time, so that I may tend to them and be rid of you once and for all.

Signed,

Sick of being sick and tending to sick people.

 

This is Day 7 of our flu marathon.  I am exhausted, hence my brilliant invention I posted earlier today.  Not only did I get hit with the bug myself, I have also been primary caretaker to my fellow sicklings, one… after… the… other… after… the… snooooore.

First Emma got sick.  It was…well, it was horrifying.  It was like, The Exorcist level horrifying.  Her vomit…it was like nothing I’ve ever seen before or wish to ever see again.  Okay, so apparently I needed to talk it out.  Sorry.

Then Emma got better.  Then Ruby got sick.  Then Emma’s symptoms resurfaced.  Then they were sick together.

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Roasted vegetables go with everything…well almost everything.

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There are two thing that are served in this house almost every day.  Search warrants and subpoenas.  I’m kidding.  Strawberries (because it is the only thing that EVERYONE eats) and roasted vegetables.  Now, the latter rarely comes into contact with a plastic plate in this house, but it graces our “grown up” dishware quite frequently.  They go with EVERYTHING!  Except one thing, that we will come to later in this post.

Tonight, Chris had to go into work at 4:30PM, so I was on my own for dinner.  And when I say “on my own” I of course mean “surrounded by screaming, sloppy, little people.”  In these financially challenged times, I always pack Chris a lunch, or dinner, or whatever he’s going to be eating while he’s there so I wanted to hit two birds with one stone.  A roasted vegetable kind of stone.  Yeah, I know that doesn’t make any sense, but I didn’t want you to think I was actually out in the backyard, trying to hit two birds with one stone to cook for dinner.  You barbarian…I can’t believe you thought that.  Anyway…

On this evening in particular, I had a hankering for some brussel sprouts.  So I roasted a bunch with  some olive oil, rosemary, thyme, peppers, carrots, zucchini, onions and a lot of garlic.  Like, enough garlic to ensure that Edward Cullen will not be stopping by for dinner, here or anywhere within a 100 mile radius of this house.  I’m more of a Jacob girl anyway.

Sooo….this is what came out of my oven 20 minutes later.

“Why, Lora,” you’re saying.  “That does look like a healthy and delicious meal!”  And I’m saying, “I ain’t no frickin’ bird.  That is the beginning of my meal.”  So I mixed Chris’s half with some tortellini, parsley and parmesan, then sent him to work with this:

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Bake your bread and eat it too…or three (or four) times a day!

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There is love…and then there’s the way I feel about bread.  If I could fashion a casket from some crusty bread, I may reconsider my fear of death.  OMG.  I just had an amazing idea for my next craft project.  A bread bed.  That’s all I’ll say for now.

Anyway…

I think I’ll begin this tale with a little (seemingly unrelated) detour.

So, I had a birthday in March.  I didn’t post about it, because, well I don’t know why.  (That’s just something lazy people say to explain something away, without explaining anything at all.)  My mom had a nice, little party at her house for me.  Here’s the short version of what went down:

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Sausage and Lentil Soup

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I almost named this post, Dinner Tonight, because no matter what day you read this on, it’s a pretty safe bet that this would make an excellent choice for just such an occasion.

This soup is hearty, delicious, easy and very inexpensive, thus making it probably my most favourite meal, ever.  I haven’t posted this recipe before now, because it is impossible to photograph nicely.  Does anyone even say “photograph” any more?  Photograph?  It sounds so, pre-telephone.  This post was actually typed on a typewriter and my notes were written with a feather dipped into an inkwell.  Hold on a sec, I have to go answer my telegraph.

I’m back.  It was the 1800′s calling.  They said, “Stop embarrassing yourself by broadcasting how little you know about us.”  Newfangled devices these days…they always have so much attitude.

ANYWAY…

The soup.  It’s amazing.  And I guarantee you’ll be making it at LEAST twice a week, for the foreseeable future.  Here is a picture, but you should know, that it really does this goldmine no favours.

Maybe I should rename it, Sausage and Lentil Stew.  It’s very hearty, like I said.

Anyway, it pulls it’s primary flavours from the sausage, lentils, and this little guy who, incidentally, I like to call “my other husband.”

Alleluia!

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