Yesterday it was HOT here. Like firey bowels of Hell hot…but with a humidex. Anyway, we got out the trusty sprinkler to cool off.
Of course, this happened.
And then everyone wanted in on the fun.
See? My eco-kids are all about sustainability. They moved the mud puddle that would have eventually been absorbed by the ground, into the plastic (now dented) lid to their sandbox. Smarties.
Dear Children’s Television Programmers,
First and foremost, thank you. Thank you for the free babysitting, for teaching my child a second language (albeit Spanish when our official second language is French), and how to count. I know, I know. I should be nothing but grateful, yet here I sit with a bone to pick and a blog to pick it on.
I have to admit, that complaining about something that I could so easily avoid is totally bratty, but let’s just say I’ve learned from the best. Your best.
“I’m just a kid who’s four. Each day I grow some more.” I can tell you one thing you’re not growing some more of, Caillou. Hair.
I. Hate. Caillou.
So, a few weeks back I mentioned that I had this rash on my face. It sucks. It’s itchy, it burns sometimes, and let’s face it, I look like an awkward teenager again. The awkward teenager look is okay on teenagers, but no one should have to live through it twice. That’s just cruel.
Hot, I know. And this isn’t even close to how it looks at it’s worst!
Anyway, I got this rash and I went to the doctor, and he immediately said, “Do you have a family history of Lupus?” I said no, to which he replied, “Really?!?” Then he asked me about some other symptoms I may be having. He ran through a list of them.
Of course, I answered “yes” to all of the above. As would any mother of three toddlers. Let’s look at that list again, paired with possible causes.
OMG. I don’t know WHY I get myself into these situations…but here I am, in another one.
I got a stand at our local farmer’s market to sell my baked goods. IDIOT!
Not only have I never sold baked goods before…I also have this little thing I like to call THREE KIDS! What the heck was I thinking? Anyway, I’m in it now and I just have to deal with it.
So, today we went out and bought everything I need to get started. Like EVERYTHING…from all the ingredients to a tent to cover us. And I have to say, in case you hadn’t heard…spending money is fun!
So now, I sit here, pumped full of adrenaline from shopping, with a side of buyer’s remorse and a heaping load of stress on top of it all. I am actually smiling maniacally, typing away like Jack in The Shining. And at the same time, I kind of feel like if someone touched me right now, my skin would burst open and a ninja would pop out and Bruce Lee them to bits. No, strange street drugs was not on my shopping list…why do you ask?
Anyway, in the coming weeks I’ll be posting lots about the things I make for the market, but there may just be a random picture thrown on with no explanation. This will be because I’ve gone crazy. But, hey, if you’re in the area come by! I don’t bite. Although, by then…maybe I will.
Signed, only temporarily insane,
Lora
P.S. I actually do have a rash on my face and my hair is falling out. I’m going to the doctor to get it looked at. Prognosis: A severe case of biting-off-more-than-one-can-chew. Prescription: A week off…in Mexico! Who’s with me?
Dear Influenza,
Listen, man. We’ve had this talk before. I know that you have a job to do. But for the love of God, could you PLEASE just tag everyone all at once? When five people (three of whom are proverbial crop dusters of drool and snot) live under the same roof, it is both cruel and unusual for you to invade one person at a time. In the future, if you wish to spend time with us, it would be appreciated if you could limit your infestations to two: one for myself, so I know what we’re dealing with, and a second for everyone else at the same, damn time, so that I may tend to them and be rid of you once and for all.
Signed,
Sick of being sick and tending to sick people.
This is Day 7 of our flu marathon. I am exhausted, hence my brilliant invention I posted earlier today. Not only did I get hit with the bug myself, I have also been primary caretaker to my fellow sicklings, one… after… the… other… after… the… snooooore.
First Emma got sick. It was…well, it was horrifying. It was like, The Exorcist level horrifying. Her vomit…it was like nothing I’ve ever seen before or wish to ever see again. Okay, so apparently I needed to talk it out. Sorry.
Then Emma got better. Then Ruby got sick. Then Emma’s symptoms resurfaced. Then they were sick together.
There are two thing that are served in this house almost every day. Search warrants and subpoenas. I’m kidding. Strawberries (because it is the only thing that EVERYONE eats) and roasted vegetables. Now, the latter rarely comes into contact with a plastic plate in this house, but it graces our “grown up” dishware quite frequently. They go with EVERYTHING! Except one thing, that we will come to later in this post.
Tonight, Chris had to go into work at 4:30PM, so I was on my own for dinner. And when I say “on my own” I of course mean “surrounded by screaming, sloppy, little people.” In these financially challenged times, I always pack Chris a lunch, or dinner, or whatever he’s going to be eating while he’s there so I wanted to hit two birds with one stone. A roasted vegetable kind of stone. Yeah, I know that doesn’t make any sense, but I didn’t want you to think I was actually out in the backyard, trying to hit two birds with one stone to cook for dinner. You barbarian…I can’t believe you thought that. Anyway…
On this evening in particular, I had a hankering for some brussel sprouts. So I roasted a bunch with some olive oil, rosemary, thyme, peppers, carrots, zucchini, onions and a lot of garlic. Like, enough garlic to ensure that Edward Cullen will not be stopping by for dinner, here or anywhere within a 100 mile radius of this house. I’m more of a Jacob girl anyway.
Sooo….this is what came out of my oven 20 minutes later.
“Why, Lora,” you’re saying. “That does look like a healthy and delicious meal!” And I’m saying, “I ain’t no frickin’ bird. That is the beginning of my meal.” So I mixed Chris’s half with some tortellini, parsley and parmesan, then sent him to work with this:
The girls were watching Lassie (yes it’s still on TV – a sarcastic THANK YOU to PBS) and there was a crocodile on it. The girls were a little nervous.
So in response, to comfort them in this terrifying moment, I took a picture, and Ben made this face:
We’re all about support in this family. I kid. I obviously gave them each a hug and told them that crocodiles only get kids who don’t listen to their mom. Haha. Happy Easter!
Lora
…or does Zooey Deschanel remind anyone else of Adam Sandler in drag trying to be cute? I know it’s weird, but every time I see her face, or hear her voice (which is ALL THE TIME) all I hear is, “Stop looking at me swan.”
I’m sorry. I’ve just had a little too much Zooey. It’s time to change des-chanel. (Heh? Get it? Like change the channel?) She’s just over saturating the market with her little pixie face and perfect hair and sickeningly-sweet-baby-kissing-puppies-level-cuteness.
Plus, Chris just downloaded the Winnie the Pooh soundtrack for the kids, so between that, Elf and this movie that was EVERYWHERE over Christmas, I’m just a little over it.
That’s all. Now I feel much better.
Lora
Ruby just saw Bruce Dickinson, and noticed her striking resemblance to him. What can I say, the kid ain’t wrong.
