Monthly Archives: May 2012

My Beef With The Bald Kid

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Dear Children’s Television Programmers,

First and foremost, thank you.  Thank you for the free babysitting, for teaching my child a second language (albeit Spanish when our official second language is French), and how to count.  I know, I know.  I should be nothing but grateful, yet here I sit with a bone to pick and a blog to pick it on.

I have to admit, that complaining about something that I could so easily avoid is totally bratty, but let’s just say I’ve learned from the best.  Your best.

“I’m just a kid who’s four. Each day I grow some more.” I can tell you one thing you’re not growing some more of, Caillou. Hair.

I.  Hate.  Caillou.

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What do you get the girl who has everything (but doesn’t realize it)? How about a Lupus scare!

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So, a few weeks back I mentioned that I had this rash on my face.  It sucks.  It’s itchy, it burns sometimes, and let’s face it, I look like an awkward teenager again.  The awkward teenager look is okay on teenagers, but no one should have to live through it twice.  That’s just cruel.

Hot, I know. And this isn’t even close to how it looks at it’s worst!

Anyway, I got this rash and I went to the doctor, and he immediately said, “Do you have a family history of Lupus?”  I said no, to which he replied, “Really?!?”  Then he asked me about some other symptoms I may be having.  He ran through a list of them.

  • Are you experiencing fatigue?
  • Do you have any soreness in your joints or hands?
  • Are your muscles achy?
  • Do you ever feel confused?
  • Do you find you’re ever short of breath?

Of course, I answered “yes” to all of the above.  As would any mother of three toddlers.  Let’s look at that list again, paired with possible causes.

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Summer Days: Summer Good, Summer Great!

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Finally.  It’s here.  No more snowsuits.  No more hats and mitts.  No more boots.  It’s all bare feet and sunscreen from here on out.

It’s been BEAUTIFUL here lately.  And on one of the many awesome days we’ve been having lately, we broke out the old sprinkler.  It is always a hit.  It’s the great equalizer.  No one, regardless of their age, gender, race, or creed can deny that the splash of a sprinkler on your feet on a super hot day makes you giddy.

My kiddles happen to agree.

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And the award for best baby name generator goes to: The baby!

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This morning we were discussing the origins of the kids names (which in our case is…the Internet).  This is how it went down.

RUBY:  When you saw me did you know my name was Ruby?

ME:  Sort of.  When I was pregnant, I saw the name Ruby, and I loved it, and I called Daddy right away and told him and he said “Let’s do it.”  So we named you Ruby.

RUBY:  Did you know Emma’s name before she was borned?

ME:  Actually, when Emma was born, her name was Annabelle for a couple of days before we changed it to Emma.

EMMA:  I not Annabelle.  I Emma.  Or Money.

I should have let her name herself.  Money Banks?  At least we could have a solid rap career to retire on.

Lora

California Salad (Dude)

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What’s up brah?  I was chillin’ at Loblaws the other day and was totally stoked to peep this bitchin’ salad, so I hopped on my longboard and was totally hot-doggin’ it to the homestead to make my own.  Yeah…I know it’s totally bogus to snake someone else’s recipe, but since this recipe belongs to the man, I thought to myself, “Relax dude…it’s yours for the taking.”

Anyway, in English (and Less-Annoying), I saw this salad called a California Salad, so I went home and made my own.

It’s delicious. It’s beautiful.  And like most things in my life, it looks like it’s a lot more work than it is.  So if you’re having guests over, it’s a great salad to make, because it looks like you slaved away, when really it takes about 10 minutes to throw together.  (Sorry to shatter the illusion Heidi and Gord).

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Lora Banks: EntrepreNERD

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Oh, hi there.  I’m sorry…you were looking for, Lora?  She’s gone now…and has been replaced by a savvy business woman!

I kid.  I haven’t completely sold out…but my bake stand did!  Yesterday was my first day at the farmer’s market and it went really, really well.

There’s me.  I took a shower and everything.  I’m a serious business lady now.

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Stressed? Me? No! I always have a rash on my face and my hair falls out in clumps.

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OMG.  I don’t know WHY I get myself into these situations…but here I am, in another one.

I got a stand at our local farmer’s market to sell my baked goods.   IDIOT!

Not only have I never sold baked goods before…I also have this little thing I like to call THREE KIDS!  What the heck was I thinking?  Anyway, I’m in it now and I just have to deal with it.

So, today we went out and bought everything I need to get started.  Like EVERYTHING…from all the ingredients to a tent to cover us.  And I have to say, in case you hadn’t heard…spending money is fun!

So now, I sit here, pumped full of adrenaline from shopping, with a side of buyer’s remorse and a heaping load of stress on top of it all.  I am actually smiling maniacally, typing away like Jack in The Shining.  And at the same time,  I kind of feel like if someone touched me right now, my skin would burst open and a ninja would pop out and Bruce Lee them to bits.  No, strange street drugs was not on my shopping list…why do you ask?

Anyway, in the coming weeks I’ll be posting lots about the things I make for the market, but there may just be a random picture thrown on with no explanation.  This will be because I’ve gone crazy.  But, hey, if you’re in the area come by!  I don’t bite.  Although, by then…maybe I will.

Signed, only temporarily insane,

Lora

P.S. I actually do have a rash on my face and my hair is falling out.  I’m going to the doctor to get it looked at.  Prognosis:  A severe case of biting-off-more-than-one-can-chew.  Prescription: A week off…in Mexico!  Who’s with me?

Coconut Mango Cake

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Okay.  I don’t want this post to be clouded by your self-loathing for never having thought of this yourself.  After a few days of major soul searching, I have come to terms with it myself, and suggest you do the same.  So let’s begin with a little self-affirmation.  Repeat after me:

“I can’t think of everything.  I am human, and humans are erred by nature.  Everyone has different talents, thinking of the most genius thing EVER is not one of mine, and that, is okay.  I forgive myself.”

Do not move on to the following sentence without having a full sense of peace.  Take a deep breath, and read the following GENIUS two words.

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Roasted Plum and Goat Cheese Salad

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So the other day I was updating my “Recipes” page on my blog, when I realized it looks like 90% of my diet consists of cookies, brownies, cakes and cupcakes.  This, I can assure you, is not the case, but this funny thing always happens at meal time.

How do I describe it best?  Let’s see…oh yes.  I feel kind of like King Kong, toward the end of the movie…when he’s hanging on to the Empire States Building and the planes are attacking him.

The guy just wants to save his dignity and his damn soul mate…give him some space.  Instead, all of these planes start diving at him, trying to shoot him or knock him off or whatever, and what was previously a safe, stable situation, is suddenly death defying.  Yeah, that’s how I feel about making dinner.

I’m balancing pots and pans, stirring with both hands and pouring juice with my right foot.  And while I’m doing this, toys are flying everywhere, and the kids are running around screaming trying to get me to lay a verdict on who’s doll is who’s.  Then, by the time I get everything on the table and sit down to eat, I can’t switch out of that rushy-rushy-hurry-uppy mode, and I scarf all of my food down before I can even look at it, let alone take a picture of it.

That’s why I rarely post the food I make for dinner.  You see, there’s never a rush on baking.  I guess that’s why I love it so much.  I do it at night when the kids are in bed, or in the day while they’re watching a movie or whatever.  No one’s hungry, no one’s crazy, no one’s bugging me and there’s plenty of time for a food-o-shoot.  Not dinner though.

Well…today that all changes.

http://www.headlineshirts.net/le-king-kong-t-shirt.html?hsnh_vendor=shareasale

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